Friday, 9 May 2014

In a nutshell................

- things been a bit full-on here since the New Year. I started divorce proceedings in January, they are still going on, have the decree nisi granted, the absolute at the end of this month. Things more than unpleasant here right now.  At the end of January,  Bean and Shaun announced they were getting married at Easter. He was in Plymouth, she in Winchester and his parents abroad.  Vast majority of planning and organising had to be done by me. Wedding was perfect, sunshine, friends, laughter, horse and carriage, great catering, lovely people, followed by honeymoon in Turkey. Divorce is rumbling along in the background............. I got admitted to hospital with potential heart problems after an argument with ex, luckily fairly quickly sorted out, but still on the BP pills.
My friend who lived next door got murdered in London a couple of weeks ago, leaving a lovely wife and two young children.  My mother (in a home after two strokes, blind and deaf now) has serious kidney problems. She died yesterday. Funeral is next week, some 300 miles away, throwing up a host of problems that I will have to deal with as they manifest themselves. Two friends I know of have been diagnosed with terminal cancers.
Life seems so unfair at times - not for me, because I am here and surrounded by friends who love and support me - but for others.

I light my candle for everyone I know.



Hannah B said...

Oh Sarah :( So much sadness there (as well as the joy of Bean and Shaun). Love and (((((hugs)))) to you.
Let me know if there is anything at all I can do. xx

Snitty Kitty said...

Sorry to hear things are so tough, my divorce was a nightmare, but 10 years down the line I'm much happier.

Patricia Ellingford said...

Hi Sarah

Hugs am so sorry about your mum. The rest is just life and you are going through a rebirthing process. As one door closes another one always opens. Do not forget to take some time out for yourself. You will need it I suspect with so much to do with everything that is going on around you. You will be running on adrenalin for the here and now, but take care and be kind to yourself. I am so pleased for Bean. Am so sorry for the loss of your friend under tragic circumstances and for his family. You will be okay you are strong and something even more special is waiting in the wings for you. Things may be beastly for the time being but it is a means to an end. Think of it as a stepping stone across a river on a path to a new beginning. Sadness because it is the end of one era and the start of a new adventure and the start of a new chapter in your life. Shaking up the duvet and letting new things, new people and new opportunities enter.


Pattypan x

Ali said...

Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry life's been throwing so much shit your way. But it's true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. There are lots of us who've been through it and have come out the other end.

Your health is your biggest asset for your new future. Look after yourself, make yourself your own priority and take each day one at a time.

You WILL get through this and you WILL end up making a beautiful new life for yourself. Karma finds a way to reward people in ways they deserve ;-)

Lots and lots of love

Ali xxx

Julie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I'm in the middle of dealing with elderly parent stuff and know what a difficult grown up path it is. Hope there is some peace and loving letting go in the grief.

And then the divorce too. As Patricia wisely said above there is a huge shift going on for you. In the terms of your ex I'm sure its about releasing that/who no longer belongs in your life. I'm sorry it's just so painful and all coming at once for you. It must be exhausting.

I hope you are able to find rest (on all levels) and the space and time you need to heal from all these great changes going on and that the good that will come after them appears on the horizon real soon


Vivianne said...

Oh my, you really have been in the wars :( Nothing to say but to offer you BIG HUGS xx

gz said...

Big Hugs from here too.
The saying is right.."It doesn't rain but it pours"....

gz said...

Big Hugs from here too.
The saying is right.."It doesn't rain but it pours"....

gz said...

Big Hugs from here too.
The saying is right.."It doesn't rain but it pours"....

Mum said...

Life can be sh--, you know what, at times. Keep strong. There will be light at the end of the tunnel.
Love from Mum

Carole Yeomans said...

Sorry to hear that you are having to deal with so much in your life atm Sarah. I hope things soon turn around for you. Here are some words a friend sent me last year when my own Mum died. They struck a chord with me and I hope they will bring some comfort for you too.WHAT IS DYING ? By Victor Hugo

I am standing on the sea shore. A ship sails and spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her till at last she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says “She is gone”.

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her, and just as able to carry her load of living freight to its destination.

The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her, and just at the moment when someone at my side says, “She is gone” there are others who are watching her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout “There she comes!” – and that is dying.

Best wishes CaroleY