Thursday, 27 May 2010

Be my friend......................

"Technology doesn't prevent intimacy, it redefines it....................."

Today's post is inspired by the above quote, although I am not certain of its origin, but thankyou to whoever came up with it :)

It is a constant source of wonder to me how big an effect connection to the internet has had on me and my life. As most of you will know or be able to guess, I'm not much of a technology bod, preferring the simpler hand-cranked life;many years ago now, I was the one who said that we would have a computer, yes, but no net. The children spent the next few years trying to get a turn on here lol - well, not quite, but you get the picture. I remember the first thing I ever looked up on Google - the Dalai Lama talking :))
Look at me now...........
I get mightily fed up with people who are adamant that real and true friendships cannot be made online - I would deeply dispute that. Since 2003 ish when I dipped a tentative toe into the world wide web, I have made some very deep and lasting friendships. Living a life like I do, in a small rural village, there can be a tendency to become quite insular, especially if there are few like-minded folk around you - my situation at present.
I can come on the net and talk about growing carrots, how the bees are doing, share knitting patterns, housework, the weather, all the things that make up my daily round - all without ridicule and scorn, and sharing with folk who are doing the same things.
It is the minutae of everyday life that binds ordinary people, not the great acts and famous deeds of a minority.
Even more important to me, and I imagine to a lot of others, are the friendships I have made over the years, mainly , although not exclusively, through various online forums; add in to this my blogging and Facebook, and it's a rich mix. There is the initial shared interest to provide a step up, but just like real life, you take to certain people, and general chats develop into close and rewarding relationships. Meeting up with them in real life is lovely, and very rewarding, and I know that I will never meet some of them at all, but that doesn't make the friendships any less valuable and precious to me.
Being online gives you the time and space to talk about the things that matter, to share the laughter, the crying, the fun and humour that gets you through your days - all wedged in between the things that have to be done to keep body and soul together, and a break from the humdrum of daily life.
I have two very special friends I have met online; one has ended up moving, through sheer chance, quite close to me, and I see her regularly, which is lovely, and will be a lifelong friendship. The other friendship is on a different level, but will be lifelong too, I know.
So I thumb my nose to the naysayers who don't believe that these friendships are the "real thing" - they are to me and countless others, and become interwoven into the fabric of our lives, giving us strength and love and fortitude, support and encouragement when perhaps "real" friends are thin on the ground.

6 comments:

Debbi R said...

Here! Here! Thanks for posting this. I assume my point of view to be different because I'm a programmer by trade and have lived on the web for well over a decade. Techonology doesn't have to be incompatible with a simple live well-lived. It's how we use it, not that we use it.

One of the mums said...

Just for fun - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EScRD1Xkj2Q - Chumbawamba singing 'Add me'.

:-)

Hannah x

Carolyn said...

Absolutely Mrs L. I agree totally. Weare in the minority in our village. Although a lot of people grow veg and keep chickens etc they are the older generation, and there arefew with children that do things our way. HomeEducation is another one. We are The Home Educating Family in our village, and although the boys bridge the gap easily, I find it difficult. So many mums just can't wait to get rid of their 2 year old to nursery and can't imagine why I would want to be surrounded by my 4 boys 24/7 !!!
The net is a source of support to me at a time when even my mum isn't.
My eldest son is also a big forum user and has learnt alot about mechanics that way, not to mention made a lot of friends that he meets up with regularly.
So here's to blogs, forums and the like xx

Quilting Cat said...

Like you Sarah, I have made at least 2 lifelong friends through various forums and good friends they are too. I find so many of my generation do not use the net for one reason or another, I cannot see the difference between this and replying to requests for pen-pals that used to be in magazines before www. You didn't know who you were writing to then, at least on the net you don't give out addresses straight away. Pippa.

Leanne said...

nice post sarah! :-)

Leanne x

Anonymous said...

I met DH on-line and it's going stronger than ever after 9 yrs.
I didn't pre-judge his appearance, just accepted his fine mind and good heart which shone through our "chats".

Also have made several good pals through DTE Forums and found much in common with several friends of friends through FB.

It's sweet just to say what you're thinking at that moment and find others feel the same way. We chat about music, films, books as well as pets and our families and have a laugh along the way more often than not.

And I get to tease you about your latest squeeze LOL

xx
Sue/coffeee